As idiosyncratic as romantic couples and their experiences are, scientists who study relationship processes are aware of questions that couples grapple with as they consider their future: When should a couple get married? Unfortunately, some people know for sure that they don't want to marry their partner, but string them along because it's convenient and comfortable and they currently don't have anyone else. At 34 after investing 5+ years in a relationship, I think this is a problem, as long as marriage is important to you. Meaning, three years of dating also allowed us to build a strong awareness of our expectations of one another, and how we view and interact with each other and the world. About a year later we got back together and have been together ever since. Specifically, are you a low- or high-conflict couple? It honestly sounds like neither one of you wants to be married to each other. They talked about getting married but he kept finding excuses not to propose. Regionally, the average ages for men and women are surprisingly consistent -- with a few surprises.
On one hand, if either of you are still in college or graduate school and not financially stable it might not be a good idea. It's common for contemporary couples to live together before marriage, but their reasons for doing so appear to predict how happy their marriage will eventually be. The good thing is that I have learned from it, I am in a really happy and healthy relationship now with someone that is on the same page as me in regards to everything- values, goals, ect. If you choose to address these with your partner, bring them up gently when you both have time to discuss these issues. Not necessarily meaning a romantic proposal at a certain time. Men in the Northeast present a similar case, with nearly 10% less engagements below age 24. To put your own fears to rest, and to make a decision about whether to stay or go, you really need to have the discussion.
My husband felt the same way about expecting a proposal and needed to be able to make that decision on his own terms. Not sure either of them are ready for marriage but I hope we get an update on this one. Please keep commenting and thank you all! To me, you date to get to know each other and then you get engaged to plan your marriage. For me, it's more about the range of experiences that lend themselves to compatibility rather than the amount of time. Downvote only to indicate that either a comment or post does not add to discussion; not to indicate disagreement. Why does she have to sit back and passively wait? I was saying that I have been there, and I understand it.
Plus, engagements should be reasonably short, with the date set at the time of the engagement or shortly thereafter. I think he may also be projecting some of his own insecurity about getting married onto me. I'm not religious, nor am I conservative, but if a person doesn't feel confident enough to commit to me, I don't know if I could feel confident enough to commit to having a child with that person. Sure, we live together now, but it is not the same. So, yes, she should discuss where the relationship stands, but getting a proposal or even more details about the timing is not the same thing. Do not let him continue to punish you, and if he is still bringing up the fact that you cheated on him, make it clear that this is not acceptable. The thing that factored most was waiting for my head to catch up with my heart.
It is possible that the person you are involved with is going through a divorce. The money issue is becoming a great shackle for her to stay in a relationship that may or may not be one whose future will make her happy. His procrastination is troubling and has been a source of some resentment in the relationship. Refrain from having so much of your energy revolving around the actions or non-actions of someone else. The stress of arranging a marriage can be enough to cause the end of some relationships plus there is the extra responsibility of being in a legally binding relationship. Maybe he really is just saving up his pennies and has a plan in place.
I'm glad there are folks who are happy with or without it - but I'm not one of them. What do these timelines mean for you still waiting for your man to propose? It makes sense seeing as the average age for a woman to get married now is 30. It is more my own internal worry. After compiling these responses, we sorted them by geographic region West, Midwest, South, and Northeast. Tell him seriously that you are not going to continue this song and dance.
Do you view marriage as a relationship reboot? I think women place way to much importance on marriage. The issue of how long to wait for the ring might be a decision point for you. Age factors a lot into marriage. Are they at the same level of commitment? Do what others have suggested and discuss, calmly, openly, in your own home and outside the hearing range of others at a point where you have the time to have a lengthy discussion, what his timeline is for marrying you. If I could go back I think we would probably have waited a shorter amount of time. But by basing your self esteem, and happiness, on that one thing then there is no way that it will magically go away when it finally happens.
Whether or not this would give a conclusive answer can only be guessed and it is more than likely that there will be the same amount of marriages that fail after long courtships as the amount that fail after short ones. The ceremony and stuff might not be as important to him as it is to you. Regardless of his answer I will spend more time on me and start a second job, save some rainy day funds And set an internal timeline. How long would you spend in a relationship - for those who want marriage and it's non-negotiable - before you called it quits on waiting for a proposal? But I couldn't say anything til her formally asked my dad so it wasn't announced until May. Or maybe you have some things in the way. Couples that are already highly committed, and cohabitate for other reasons — e.